Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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