just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
