McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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