His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
