i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
