There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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