If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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