Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
