he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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