i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
