what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
