For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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