you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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