you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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