every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
