I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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