I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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