well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just tell him i said nine months
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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