Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Randomize
