I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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