I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
