this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
