Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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