After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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