I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
