I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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