I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
