32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
