Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
