Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
