Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
