i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
