ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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