i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
