Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
