Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
