Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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