Pregnant stripper...not hot.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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