She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
