my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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