I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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