the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We need to rekindle our bromance
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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