I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
