Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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