He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
