Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
