I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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