am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
