why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Text me some of your sweat
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
