I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
These tits shall not be calmed
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
