just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
