Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
